Lord of Fanfiction
by Yoshizilla-Fan
Summary: When a new lord after L.O.G. (Lord of Games) appears, Banjo and Kazooie feel like anything can happen next. ANYTHING.
1. A New Lord

**Lord of Fanfiction**

by Yoshizilla-Fan

Yoshizilla-Fan: Well, Banjo-Kazooie is now officially 15 years old. That's one and a half decades of that bear and bird, and their adventures. Even though they stopped in the middle and got themselves fat. But that's not the point. Because while the Lord of Games (L.O.G.) continues to work on new games at his factory in Showdown Town, a new lord shows up and things start to go...his way.

* * *

Banjo and Kazooie were flying around in Cloud Cuckooland, with Kazooie flapping her wings, carrying Banjo with her.

"This is the life, eh Kazooie? Fresh air, colors everywhere, and not a care in the world!"

Banjo and Kazooie landed next to Mingy Jongo's skull. "Banjo, you said the same thing five years ago! I think this place is starting to get to you."

"Oh relax, Kazooie. This place makes you feel like you're in twisted child's cartoon, or more likely-"

"Stop!" Kazooie interrupted. "Just how long were you inside that moldy cheese anyway?"

"What does that have to do with this?"

Kazooie sighed. "It just feels like we're going to get into more-"

Before she could finish, time itself somehow froze up, then when time resumed, a tall figure with a blue robe, a silver television head, and an ASCII face appeared next to the bear and bird. "Greetings, o second-rate characters!" he greeted.

"Who are you?" Banjo asked.

"Hey, he kinda looks like that L.O.G. guy that we met before. Doesn't he?" Kazooie mentioned.

"Correct. But that is not my title. I am called Lord of Fanfiction. Call me L.O.F. for short. I am the grand creator of all fanfiction."

"No you're not. This author and every other author is." Kazooie pointed out.

"If that is true, then so is the truth that all games were really created by others." L.O.F. stated, looking out towards the clear blue sky.

Banjo rubbed his chin. "So you created all fanfiction, eh?"

L.O.F. nodded in agreement. "What you have asked is correct."

"Even the ones that suck? Even the ones where girls like Tooty are endlessly gassy?" Kazooie asked.

L.O.F. nodded again. "Also correct."

"What about ones that are unoriginal and complete ripoffs of other ones?"

L.O.F. lowered his head. "Regrettably. My hands are tied within that zone of thought."

"You don't have hands, text face!" Kazooie yelled.

"You see why you two haven't been in as many fanfics as characters such as that humanoid mushroom girl, skeletal beast, purple man that slenderly resembles Grunty or any other characters that are favored by the inspirer of this inspiree?" L.O.F. stated.

Kazooie face-winged herself. "That's just one author! I'm sure we've been in many fanfics! You may be the creator of all fanfics, but you're really only limited to the writing style or this author. Let's see what you're like from another author's point of view."

L.O.F. sighed. "Then that's the end of this chapter."


	2. Come from Behind Invasion

"So what's this all about, L.O.F.? Why are you here?" Kazooie asked.

"The Lord of Games can only do so much, and what he did disappointed many. So I am here to make this fanfic enjoyable and as crazy as possible."

Kazooie sighed. "That makes no sense, whatsoever!"

"It's not supposed to. This is a fanfic! Go Cuckoo!" L.O.F. suddenly changed the setting, causing him, Banjo and Kazooie to be transported to Witchyworld.

"What are we doing here?" Banjo asked.

"Wait for it." L.O.F. stated.

Twelve seconds later, the Saucer of Peril flew into Kazooie, knocking her out of Banjo's backpack.

Banjo gasped. "Where'd that come from?"

L.O.F. shook his head in disgust. "That bird was getting on my nerves. She shouldn't think I can make her into an ostrich if I wanted to."


	3. More LOF BS

Banjo and Kazooie were transported to Glitter Gulch Mines, not knowing why they were there.

"Ok, why are we here now?" Kazooie asked.

The Lord of Fanfiction appeared in front of them. "Let's see what you got against a collapsing mine."

"A what?" Banjo asked.

Suddenly, a dynamite went off from nowhere, causing the entire mine to collapse on itself, killing every single character inside.

"Are you kidding? That was nearly pointless!" Kazooie complained, being a ghost along with Banjo and every other character.

L.O.F. rolled his ASCII eyes as he revived everyone and restored the mine. "Give me time, Kazooie. Give me time."


	4. Beatin' and Tootin'

L.O.F. transported Banjo and Kazooie back to Witchyworld as Kazooie shook her head in disapproval.

"You see this? We're right back to where we were in Chapter 2!" Kazooie mentioned. "This L.O.F. guy is leading us nowhere!"

"I thought you would complain." L.O.F. stated. "But why don't you look now." L.O.F. pointed to Madame Grunty's tent.

"What about that?" Banjo asked.

"Yeah. What about that?" Kazooie complied.

Tooty walked by, noticing Madame Grunty's tent. "Ooh! A fortune teller!" Tooty exclaimed, clapping with glee as she walked into the tent.

"And now, Madame Grunty will predict your future..." Madame Grunty stated.

...

"You get a special beating!" The tent started shaking as loud beating and bonking noises were heard. A few moments later, Tooty was thrown out of the tent, wearing nothing but white underwear.

Tooty got up, noticing that she had been stripped of all her clothes except her underwear, shrieking as she covered herself up. "Dear Lord of Games! What happened in there?"

Kazooie suddenly broke out into laughter, jumping out of Banjo's backpack as she fell to the ground on her back. "Now that was hilarious!" she stated.

"_D'oh_!" Banjo slapped his palm over his head, feeling embarrassed for Tooty, who was frantically trying to cover herself up with her arms.

"Oh god this is so bad!" Tooty exclaimed. "At least it can't get any worse..."

Suddenly, much to her surprise, Tooty tooted loudly, causing a brown stain to appear on the back of her white underwear. Tooty gasped, placed her hand over her butt, farting again as it only made the stain bigger. "Why must I be gassy and toot now?" Tooty exclaimed, running away crying, feeling highly embarrassed as she continued ripping loud toots, which only made it worse for her as she ran far away.

Meanwhile, Kazooie laughed harder, her wings over her chest as she frantically kicked her legs in the air. "That was pure, fanfic comedy gold right there!" Kazooie exclaimed, continually laughing out loud, ignoring Banjo who growled at her, shaking his fists.

"Not so boring and suckish now, is it?" L.O.F. stated.

Kazooie continued to laugh out loud in response, with Banjo growling and shaking his fists, ready to kick some bird butt.


	5. Chuffy Goes Chuffin' Further

Chuffy the Train was stationed at the Train Station in the Cliff Top section of the Isle O' Hags, when L.O.F. suddenly popped in.

"Hurrr! Who are you? If you want to use Chuffy, you must fight me first!" Old King Coal stated, speaking from inside of Chuffy.

"I wouldn't have to." L.O.F. pointed out. "But that's not why I'm here. I am here because Seaside Hill is getting yet another new gimmick of sorts."

"Well of course! They are currently building a Train Station there for Chuffy. This is so that Chuffy can go to more places and possibly become more useful. Especially after that bear and bird needed my train to sneak into that large factory."

"Exactly. But little do you know that your train just might not be the only train that uses it."

Old King Coal grunted. "Hurr! That matters not."

"Exactly. Because that will introduce more ideas for chapters. Not in this fanfic of course. And not just in what you think."

"You talk weird. Go away if you won't fight me to borrow Chuffy!" Old King Coal growled.

"Ok, bye." L.O.F. decided, vanishing into thin air.


End file.
